draw our life from His smile

So recently I am watching an anime called Arakawa Under the Bridge, which is a comedy that consists of extremely peculiar characters doing random things, and they all live under a bridge. It sounds weird, but it's actually very enjoyable.

The main male character (Ric) is a guy who has everything. He is the heir of the most successful company in Japan, he is smart, knows his stuff, excels in many areas. Because of that, he is full of himself. Moreover, his family has a motto of "to never rely on anyone". Meaning that he has to do everything by his own powers. So the story starts with the main female character (Nino)  rescuing him from the death. And then he wants to do everything possible to repay her, as he can't owe people anything. She doesn't want to take anything from him, but eventually she requested if they can start dating, lol.

There is one particular scene I really like, when the male character's father converses with the main female character... goes like this:

- Nino: whenever I brought him food, he wouldn't shut up about doing something in return.
- Ric's father: Of course he did. You need to want something too. Otherwise it is not fair.
- Nino: No. It's fair. When he's full, it feels like I'm full too.

With all the facial expression and musical background from the anime, it was really cool and spoke to me. When I serve God, I know that my works don't contribute to my salvation, because it by grace and through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). And I get my motivation to persevere in my faith because I desire in my heart that the Lord will say to me "good faithful servant" on the day I stand before God.

But, as I live here on earth, there are times of discouragement, burnt out, lack of fruits, and many other things that can damper my motivation to run in the race. So often, the lack of a visible affirmation from God that He is pleased with what I am doing really throws me off.

Then, I realized that perhaps I am putting more emphasis on results of my works instead of God Himself. I came to the conclusion that I have missed God in those times of discouragement in serving by focusing on what I do. Because I want to get something back (a visible result!), but I am missing the point that God already loves me.

Truly, I need to learn how to be satisfied in God, drawing power from the assurance that He loves me so much (1 John 3).

"[God] He meant us to see Him and live with Him and draw our life from His smile" from The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer