unlimited bladeworks

"I am the bone of my sword,
 Steel is my body, fire is my blood,
 I have created over thousand of blades"

There is a very popular anime series called "Fate Stay Night", that has 3 different stores, and one of them is called "Unlimited Blade Works". The overall story consists on 7 selected mages, and each of these mages summon a specific warrior to fight one another. The last one standing gets to win the "holy grail", which grants any wish.

One of the interesting aspects about this show is the substance in the dialogue. There is a big emphasis on elaborating on each of the characters' ideals and their reason to fight on this war.

One of the main characters, Shirou, has a noble ideal of wanting to save and help everyone, to the extend that he does not care about his well being. He has a kind heart and is always offering his help to everyone around him. When the bad guys show up, he is the first one who stands up to offer protection.

But his peers consider him to be very naive and idealistic, as it is not possible to save everyone. There is a cost associated with a choice (helping personA means I might not be able to help personB). And his peers (especially those who care for him) are irritated when Shirou becomes impulsive to help others but does not take care of himself.

But his future self, who is portrayed by another character (summoned on this timeline, don't ask me why) tries his best to stop Shirou from pursuing his ideals. The reason is because his future self has gone through many disappointments and frustrations while trying to follow his ideals on saving everyone. His future self realizes that it is not possible to save everyone with his efforts, and bitterness grows on his heart as he is not able to protect everyone from getting hurt by bad people.

The is a major dilemma in the life of Shirou, who after various internal struggles, concludes that he will continue pursuing his ideals, even if it is not realistic and may bring many disappointments, because the desire to save everyone brings him hope.

I remember when I was part of the CCF Welcome Team, that a few of us had a common desire to care for everyone (specially the newcomers), and we wanted to reach out to every single person who attended CCF at least a few times, and wanted to make sure they would attend fellowship so that brothers and sisters would look after them. We did many initiatives in order to maximize a "safety net" so that we can "save" everyone from falling off in the cracks of now been able to integrate into CCF. I vividly remember that we even made a very elaborated spreadsheet with all the newcomer's names, and information about their program and what they like to do, and their potential as leaders, etc... (now that I look back, it feels slightly stalkerish haha).

In reality, no matter how hard we tried, there would be people who might not respond to our goodwill. Some people will choose not to join any fellowship, some will get distracted by other priorities, and some might even forget and not appreciate the investment (care and time) that you spend on them.

It is very easy to become disappointed and discouraged at the lack of results when serving at a ministry. This experience has taught me various lessons about serving:

• First priority is my relationship with God. If my main focus is on a ministry, then I am valuing my performance and the results over the greatness of the love and grace of God. 
• Understanding that God loved me first, and that God's love is unconditional (no matter how much I failed or how much I tried to prove myself, His love does not depend on that) enables me to love others. If I fail do understand this, then my serving becomes more transactional rather than serving out of love.
• It is not up to me. It is up to God, His own timing and providence, to save people (God might use another servant to minister to this person). The results are not up to me (for sure God has given us wisdom to make good decisions and execute on them, but ultimately God is the one who can transform hearts). If I fail to understand this, then I would take the matter with my own hands and will grow frustrated if no results are seen.
• Persevere in prayer. Do not lose hope when good work is not rewarded with tangible results. If God has given you a vision, then let us put our trust in Him, that He will carry you through to accomplish what He intends for.