Gentle whisper

It has been more than 7 months since I last blogged. This is kinda ridiculous that I am slacking that much. I have to admit that laziness is one reason why I have not blogged for a while. Also, I have been quite drained by work (even though it is only 9-5, it can take a lot away from you), as well as busy after work with some sort of ministry. I tend to like to fill my schedule because I want to be useful to God with the time I have. But there are many points in my life when living this full-schedule has been doing more harm than good in my relationship with God, because I just don't enough spend time alone with Him, quiet down myself in prayer, talk to Him in prayer, and meditate on His Word. Sometimes it is just difficult to feel that God is near.

As time increases, symptoms of burnout increases.

This has been a struggle lately. And it is something that I was aware of, and was hopefully wanting to overcome it at the start of the fall term, but this term has been quite demanding. 

But somehow, God has been giving me certain realizations here and there, as well as encouragements from brothers and sisters, and just personal conviction that God is indeed near and He is gentle whispering to me to focus on Him every time. Now that the term pretty much ended, I have some time to rest up physically, reflect on the things I need to improve, and replenish myself with the goodness of God. And I look forward for this, to just really deepening communion with God every day.

I look forward to prayer walks, reading more (both the bible and as well as Christian literature), blogging, and writing personal emails (I really like personal correspondence!). Blogging is definitely good because it helps me to put in words the realizations from God, and it makes me discipline to be constantly thinking about God and His interaction with people, and I hope that by the grace of God this can be encouraging to others.

One of the most memorable CCF bible studies was on summer 2007, when we did 1 King 19, which talks about an ownage person like Elijah. He did great things but he fled when the queen Jezebel was persecuting him. Elijah feels lonely, unmotivated, tired, inadequate, depressed (all of these seems signs of burnout). Then the Lord speaks to Eljiah, but Elijah responds with much complains. Then the Lord manifests His great power:

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”" - 1 Kings 19:11-13

God is able to perform so many powerful things (very strong winds, earthquake, fire) but the Lord came and spoke to Elijah through a gentle whisper. This shows that God is merciful and gracious, that His gentleness breaks the tough hearts of men to draw them back to Him. God is intense.