conforming and comparing

This term there are 2 new housemates who joined, and one of them had a Mickey mouse mug. And it happens that I also own one. So we were joking around that the Mickey mouse mug should be the "sign" that makes us belong to this house. Not too long after, another housemate bought a Mickey mouse mug as well. So 3 out of 5 housemates have it:

So we continue "pressuring" the remaining two guys to get a mug. But they have been resisting. And just recently one of them fell to the peer-pressure, and got a nice mug:

We kind of joke around that the requirements of the mug has to be either blue or red color =P, so it does not count haha. Anyways, we were tolerant with it, so he is part of the gang now. So we are still waiting on the last housemate who is quite firm in his decision of not wanting to conform to our "standards". (I think he is just too lazy to get a new mug...).

There are two major things I want to talk with this silly illustration.

conforming

It is very easy to conform to the behavior of other people, because we are relational beings who wants to be loved and accepted by other relational beings. In conforming, we believe that we will find acceptance and approval from our peers, and this creates a sense of belonging. This can include things like fashion and trends, for example: getting a super nice smartphone. (I am not saying that getting a nice smartphone is bad, I am just giving an example. And me not having a smartphone does not make me a better person). So most people have a smartphone now, some have it because they do need its functionality, others have it because they just want to experiment with it, but there are also others who gets one because everyone else has one. I think it is important to question ourselves why we are purchasing it because we are called to do everything for God's glory (1 Cor. 10:31). There is nothing wrong with getting one, but ask yourself what is the reason behind getting one, is it because I feel cooler if I have one? or so that everyone else will not look down on my old Nokia phone?

Back to my point, human beings long for relationship (not specifically speaking about a romantic one) and I believe this is part of God's design, that we will live in community with others, and not live in isolation in a cave or in a monastery. So the pursuit of wanting to be loved and accepted is a valid one, but we tend to forget that we are already loved and accepted by our Heavenly Father even when we are sinners, and sent Christ to die for us (Romans 5:8). We have already been accepted by the Almighty Creator of the universe, so there is little point in striving to get acceptance from others.

comparing

The other danger is to compare ourselves with others (I posted something about this before: http://koinowarrior.blogspot.ca/2010/05/you-are-you.html). We are surrounded by many peers, and some of them excel in academics, some of them in sports, and some of them in ministry work, and some of them have a pretty good job, etc. When we don't perform as well as others, it is easy to feel inferior and then we strive very hard (like really hard) to become this better person. Aiming to becoming better is good, but the issue here is that we are valuing ourselves based on our achievements and performance, so it is all about me. It is about my own efforts, and this is self-defeating because we are not perfect so we will fail in many regards and we will never be satisfied. Also, there will always be someone who is better than you, that is just the reality of things.

We should value ourselves based on our identity with Christ. He had given his own life to die on the cross for us, so now that we are saved, we are also children of God, with so much love poured on us (1 John 3, Ephesians 1). Man, we are blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessings in Christ (Ephesians 1:3). We are referred as "dearly loved" (Ephesians 5:1, Colossians 3:12). So there is no need to prove yourself that you are loved by your own effort, because the Eternal God (from everlasting to everlasting) loves you already despite that we are sinful creatures. I feel like unable to really describe God's love, so gonna quote part of the hymn "love of God is greater far":


To write the love of God above
  Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
  Though stretched from sky to sky.

So we should strive to pursue excellency and become better not to find our worth on its achievements, but as a response to the great love of God, and be convinced that we can be fully satisfied in Him (when God is most  glorified according to John Piper) even if we cannot achieve anything.


So yeah, our last housemate is still our good brother even if the does not get the Mickey mouse mug. But he is missing out.